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Trauma of any kind is very serious. This can be self-inflicted or inflicted. Both should be treated with extremely good therapists who specialize in trauma informed therapy. EMDR Certification is a key beginning when searching for a therapist and they should have many years of full-time practice as well.
VIDEOS
BOOKS
Heartwounds by Tian Dayton, PhD
Surviving Childhood Sexual Abuse by Carolyn Ainscough and Kay Toon
Anxiety has many names. Stress, scared, worried, tense but these are not all bad. Debilitating anxiety is bad and there are many things that can be done. Among the greatest is exercise that achieves an elevated heart rate for 30–60 minutes each day. Exercise is so powerful that consistent exercise nearly always brings down dramatically the need for meds.
Also see video:
Possibly. Dealing with divorce often destabilizes children. Children take divorce personally and feel at fault. Another common pit to avoid is confiding in your children about how bad your spouse is. To children, their mother or father don’t have faults so to thrust the idea that one of them is terrible, cheater, liar, “unfit to live” causes terrible conflict in children’s foundational core and tears at the fabric of a once safe family unit.
VIDEO: Helping Children Deal with Divorce
BOOKS:
Divorce Is Not the End of the World: Zoe's and Evan's Coping Guide for Kids
Children who miss social cues or other common social interactions may need help with executive function. It is a common problem and may also be a sign of bigger needs. Testing done in most schools by psychologists can begin the process.
A parent’s approach to helping a rigid child is key to mitigating the problem. Make sure you are solving the right problem. See video: Oppositionality vs. Rigidity